negotiations

The conversations that were cute little debates six months ago have evolved into full on arguments...with my 3 year old. Sometimes I have to stop myself and remind myself who the adult is in this relationship. Everything is a negotiation with her. It's no more apparent than when I'm in public and am suddenly aware of how pathetic I sound explaining/defending my every move and every decision. Here are a few examples that I want to remember...so I can throw them back in her face the next time we argue about how much she argues.

At Babies R Us last week, Violet wanted a tutu that was FORTY-TWO DOLLARS. I did my due diligence and checked to make sure it hadn't been worn by The Queen and didn't have magic powers and finally concluded that it was, in fact, overpriced and we wouldn't be making that purchase. I told her we couldn't buy it because it wasn't in our budget. I said, "I didn't plan on spending that much money today, it costs too much money." We argued and argued and she carried it around the store until finally she said, "Oh! I know mommy! I will use my money. You know, from my piggy in my room! Would that be a great idea?"

A few days ago, she asked for a cookie. I was doing something at the counter so I just handed her a bag that had two cookies in it and told her to get it for herself. She asked if she was supposed to have both cookies. I said 'no, because if you eat too many cookies you will get sick'. She had her rebuttal locked and loaded and said, "but mommy, I'm already sick, so I can have two cookies." Now, I thought that was a great point. So, I let her have both cookies. Retelling this story, I'm starting to wonder if I am perpetuating the problem.

Last night, Violet was playing downstairs and I went down to check on her. I peeked in and saw her playing with her polly pocket's so I went back upstairs without disturbing her. After we'd had dinner and were getting ready for bed, I told her she had to clean up her polly pockets. (Violet HATES cleaning up and usually tries to get other people to do it for her.) She started in on a loooooong story that I KNEW was going to end with her telling me that Zachary had made the mess. (She tends to blame things on Zac.) So, I cut her off and told her that 'I KNOW you made that mess because I saw YOU playing with them while Zachary was taking a nap.' She recovered quickly and told me, "No, I didn't make that mess and you were upstairs."

Brings us to tonight. Violet was climbing over the arm of the couch (strike one) and stepping on my purse to do it (strike two). I asked her to stop standing on my bag. She ignored me. I asked her again and she finally acknowledged me. She said, "mom, I need to step on your bag so I can reach the couch. Can't you understand that?" There's nothing quite like a condescending 3 year old to make you feel REAL stupid.